The Ultraviolet Grasslands Episode 7: Motorcycle Emptiness

They discuss Barush, who demands to be smuggled out of the Serai. They think there is a price on his head, and discuss secretly whether they should turn them in. They defer their decision and allow Barush to stay in their luxury room while they decide what to do. Renko does some market research and spends $100 to learn that his sack of luxury hats is worth $100 in Waystone. The Dreaming King mentions that there is a city there called Alphaville, but they point out to the befuddled king that the city is probably long, long gone.

Barush Velk, revolutionary diesel dwarf, poet, and fugitive.

Meanwhile, Barush is trying to convince them to join the revolution. He is disgusted by the debauched luxury the Porcelain Princes live in and says that with the help of their porcelain walker and large armoury they could, with the help of the Obsidian Gnomes, take the Serai. They're ambivalent, and even more so when they learn they need to go to the Death Facing Passage in order to find the secret revolutionary rebel base. The Dreaming King, meanwhile, is lording it over them, which they patiently put up with. Barush tells them that the King has lost all his memories, since the Princes carelessly stored Memory Worms next to his sarcophagus. 

They decide to go to the Way Stone, and then double back to get to the Death Facing Valley, to spend less time in peril from the Death Face. They send the Walker out of the Serai first, and then Renko opens a portal into his mirror in his hotel room and they exit in the full length mirror they are carrying with them, bringing Barush with them, successfully getting him past the checkpoints.

They hurry west, into a truly desolate wasteland that has no vegetation or water. As they head west, dry hot winds blow up, until they are in the throes of a full dust storm that gets stronger as they travel. Bits of shrapnel and debris are flung around. 

Ish suddenly cries out - a shard of black glass has struck her in her eye, and is stuck in there. She decides to leave it in there - oddly she can still see out of the destroyed eye, but she sees the worst of everyone. She puts an eyepatch over it in order not to be disgusted by the annoying foibles of her travelling companions.

At night, Ish tries to enter the King's memories but is unable to. On the third day, they awake to the constant dust storm to find four of their horses are gone. There are tracks - wheel tracks - and Vulcan sends his Vomish bird up to find the thieves - it sees six motorcycle riders in Mad Max style armour leading the horses to the north, but it is driven back by the storm and is unable to follow them or get close. 

The vome bird reports back - and they decide to go after the thieves. They can't carry all their supplies so they drop five sacks of supplies, marking them with a cairn, and head off the trail. They travel as fast as they can, but see no sign of tracks. Finally they exit the storm, and come into some badlands and see a bright light ahead. They come over to a small oasis, with palm trees and low adobe buildings - like a pueblo - and there are their four horses and six motorcycles. Above the pueblo is a low hill, with a metal bunker embedded in the side of it - where the bright light emits from.

Vulcan sends his bird to explore the bunker - it seems to have mirror lined corridors that shimmer and concentrate the light of the sun into a powerful beam that shoots deep into the hill. The bird manages to escape without being burned.

They head down into the oasis - and the riders are waiting for them at the end of the street, telling them to go no further, with their hands on their bolter rifles. The king and Barush take cover. Vulcan steps forward - and all hell breaks loose. The riders open fire, and Renko takes a bullet to the eye. But they prevail - killing four of the riders and two riders hole up in a hut, desperately shouting to be let free.

Six riders were approaching - the wind began to howl...

The group rescue their horses and take the motorcycles. They retrieve some of their supplies but the riders also seem to have several sacks of Cherenko cherries, which they keep half of and gift half to the locals, who are extremely grateful.

They rest and heal that night - Renko drinks a potion to heal his eye but is angry with himself for being shot. The oasis people are welcoming, and the caravan relaxes - not even caring that the two remaining riders manage to escape their holdup and flee into the night.

They use the cover of the night to explore the bunker. Vulcan goes in the top of the hill - there is a pit that leads all the way down into the earth, with mirrors that seem to direct the sunlight deep into the bowels of the earth. After a while there is a mezzanine lined with mirrors. Vulcan drops a torch down into the pit but it just falls seemingly forever. He stops at the mezzanine and examines the mirrors - he tries to pull one off the wall, when hands shoot out of it, and the mirror comes alive and attacks him!

This is the last he remembers - the red war spirit that is haunting them takes him over. When they finally pull him out of the pit, he is exhausted and has smashed all of the mirrors in the pit, rendering the solar passage useless.

They rest at the oasis - Renko manages to make more dog food for the oasis people using the magical implements, which they give to their giant millipedes they use as pets. Lisciac befriends a millipede which he names 'Millicent'.

Renko trades his fancy silken hats for two weeks accommodation among the oasis people, where they rest and heal. The oasis people kindly preserve the Cherenko cherries for them in jars. Ish again tries to enter the King's dreams, but is only able to enter very mundane dreams...

The Ultraviolet Grasslands Episode 6: The Dreaming King

Renko, once they return from the raid, parties with the 24 hour porcelain princes. He wakes up in a ditch, robbed, with a dead vome. He decides to keep the vome in case it's worth something. Dante hits the gaming tables once again and ends up with a part share in a cherenkov vodka distillery. Meanwhile, they hear of two Limelanders who are talking about selling a Sky Key. They find them in the market, and introduce themselves. The Limelanders are Ish and Lisciac, whose tribe was wiped out by the Violet city cat warlord Ginger. Lisciac is prone to prophetic visions, and mentions one of the world ending in fire and darkness, and the chosen being rescued by the sky people. This vision checks out with Vulcan, who remembers Adolf's similar visions. 

The pair produce the sky key - a very light football sized blue globe that glows slightly. They ask for $200 for it, which the Neo-neanderthals readily agree to, leaving Ish and Lisciac wondering whether they should have pushed for more. It's not obvious how the Sky Key works - but they are glad to have it. Dante and Renko are a bit dubious as to whether this is the genuine article, but they discuss terms under which the Limelanders might buy into the caravan if they prove their worth. 

The Porcelain Citadel

They rest up for a couple of weeks and decide to attempt another raid on the Pleasure Palace.  They take both walkers and Vulcan sits atop one with the Red Globe that shoots laser bolts. They arrive at the Pleasure Palace and once again park out front. Renko has bought a vertical wheelbarrow to help him carry the kitchen implements out. They slip into the house and into the great hall where the pile of silken hats and kitchen implements still sits. They hear howls outside,and smell the sickly sweet smell of the creaturs once again. Vulcan talks to the grasses who confirm they are in great danger. Out of the tall grasses the creatures come - seven or eight of them. They leap into the walkers with the creatures pursuing them. Two of them manage to clamber up on one leg of a walker. Vulcan blasts one with a laser - missing the creature but searing the bodywork of the walker. With combined bolter fire they manage to kill one creature, but the second one climbs up to the rim of the howda and attacks Lisciac. She manages to defend herself and drive it off with a spear, and they outpace the creatures in their walkers and return to the Porcelain Citadel. 

Renko tries to get the magical implements to work but is only able to make dog food. Lisciac tries to buy an apothecary set, but is shaken down for all her possessions in return for it, including her shaman kit and all her possessions. She runs to Vulcan, who threatens the merchants and they begrudgingly return the trade. 

They decide to head onwards - they only need to find two more Sky Keys, and they spent nearly two months at the Porcelain Citadel. They check they have sufficient supplies and head out towards the Last Serai.

They head westward, leaving as soon as the purple haze breaks. At about three days out, the Porcelain Walker they purchased at too good to be true prices suddenly lurches to a halt. They see if the can repair the technology but nobody can deduce what the breakdown is. They decide they can still make it to the Last Serai provided they load their supplies into the remaining walker and everyone other than the driver (Dante) walks.

After a further day west, they overtake three bedraggled and wounded looking figures. They approach cautiously. It appears to be three bodies of Iron-Pot-Six-Body, a Porcelain Prince, who explains they were ambushed by revolutionaries and managed to escape. They offer a reward of $50 each to escort them back to the Serai, which Ish and Lisciac eagerly accept. 

The Serai itself is a series of low, ancient adobe buildings clustered around a low hill centered around a strange and mysterious antenna. Iron-Pot-Six-Body thanks them and pays them, and they enter the Serai, unmolested because of their host. 

Most of the Serai is actually underground, in a series of ancient and luxuriously appointed chambers burrowed deep into the Earth. The place smells of woven carpet and damask spices. The group check into luxurious accommodation, while the Limelanders choose the slum slave quarters. 

As is their usual first business, they ask around after a sky key - and Iron-Pot-Six-Body is able to help them - he has heard of a sky key. There is a man, King Elre the Dreaming, who is said to be in possession of a Sky Key. The group are extremely excited about this and search the Serai for King Elre - finally finding him deep in a storage room stacked among some boxes - he is in hibernation in some sort of cryogenic sarcophagus. Lisciac sees his REM and realises he is dreaming - she tries to use her dreamwalking powers to enter his dreams but she is unable to. They agree she will try again at night, but again she is unsuccessful.

Meanwhile Vulcan tries to make contact with the local revolutionary cell, using his secret handshake. He contacts Vok, the doorman at his accommodation, who invites him to a cell meeting that evening. Vulcan foolishly offers his services to the revolution and Vok mentions that they need someone smuggled out of the Serai into the west. 

Meanwhile Renko and Dante have worked out how to revive King Elre - but they will need 1,000 litres of pure water. They manage,miraculously, to find a merchant who can procure this for them, but at a cost of $1,000. They pay, and begin the revivifaction process. Meanwhile, they purchase four ponies and four heroic steeds, ready to make a swift getaway.

The Dessicated King

The King awakes! He looks more youthful and healthy, but he is very vague and befuddled. He explains he was entrusted to travel this way into the deep future in order to save the chosen ones from the end of the world with one of the sky keys. The group had already searched him so they ask where it is. In response the king thinks, and then does a series of strange, jerky and specific hand and body movements. He repeats many times until he is certain everyone has memorised them, and explains that this, along with the other two, will allow them to travel to the sky. Vulcan is convinced, but of course realises that the blue sphere that Ish and Lisciac sold them is a fraud. They draw guns and there is a tense standoff. The outcome is not really resolved but Vulcan makes clear in no uncertain terms he wants his money back. But he has to dash to his rendezvous. 

Vulcan finds his revolutionary meeting and is presented to Barush Velk, who has a significant price on his head. He is a poet, who wrote a satirical limerick against the Porcelain Princes. His bounty is $2,000. He needs to be taken secretly to safety amongst the Spectrum Satraps...

The Ultraviolet Grasslands Episode 5: A Stately Pleasure Dome

Meanwhile Renco has been partying with the Princes - he wakes up after a week long revel much poorer, hung-over in a ditch with a dead vome beside him.

The caravan try to find out a little more about this Pleasure Palace they want to raid. Apparently a few hardy adventurers have set out already to raid it, but none have returned. They try to find Bestiana the sorceror who summoned the protective wind spirits around the pleasure palace, but they learn that he lives far, far to the east beyond the Circle Sea.

As they've heard that the air guardians can be soothed by a tune on a flute, they buy a flute, although none of them know the tune required and none of them can play a musical instrument.

They leave sissy, who is recovering from his debauchery, behind, and pile into their two porcelain walkers to the Pleasure Palace.

It is a low and minimalist looking place, about an hour away from the Porcelain Citadel, surrounded by tall grasses. They see the main building, a little like a palm springs resort, surrounded by overrun gardens. Outside they see a large obsidian monolith standing int he garden, covered with writing which turns out to be a morose poem. They decide they might want to take the monolith - using the power of the walkers they expertly and cleanly pluck the monolith out of the ground, but they decide to leave it there while they search for more portable loot.

They move the walkers under a patio near the front entrance where a glass sliding door is half open. They dismount and then cautiously enter the Pleasure Palace. They enter some sort of small bedroom. There is a dead body on the floor of what looks like some sort of Limelander freebooter, horribly lacerated. The body looks a few weeks old. They go deeper into the house and come across an enormous elaborate room with a pair of curved stairs up to a mezzanine. They debate taking the elaborate chandelier, but decide to search deeper. They take the right stair and go through a doorway to a rooftop garden with cacti and many porcelain garden gnomes in amusing positions. 

Vulcan, who can talk to plants, tries to commune with the cacti and they warn him 'Beware the winds'. As they say this a mysterious wind springs up, chilling them/ "Don't say we didn't warn you," the cacti say.

They go back down the stairs to where they feel the winds can't reach them, and go through a side door to a large room, open to the sky, where there is a clean water fountain with a moss-covered marble swan statuette. 

They find a master bedroom - they ransack all the fine clothes but Renco decides all he wants to do is keep the many fine hats. As they are ransacking the room they smell a sweet but distinctly unpleasant smell that has no discernable source. 

As they head back to the fountain they hear howls outside - or inside? They backtrack through another door into - a large and well apportioned kitchen with many magical appliances. Renco is taken by the appliances and insists they schlep them to the chandelier hallway, where they are keeping their loot pile. But while gathering up the appliances they find a severed, rotting human leg, lying in a corner. 

When they pass by the fountain room they see a single, large, blood red claw print on the ground - that had not been there before. They see shadows moving in the master bedroom where they had found all the clothing and they cautiously look inside - a window and blinds have been torn open and whatever was in the room is now retreating through the tall grasses.

They realise they are in peril and argue for five minutes about whether they should leave. But greed triumphs over fear and they decide to go back up the left hand stairs and explore the upper stairs. They find an enormous dining room, with a huge marble table, and a large feature window at the far side. Vulcan looks out the window and finds he has a fantastic view out over the long grasses. But moving through the grasses, keeping low, are six or seven huge furred gargoyle like creatures. Vulcan shouts, alerting his comrades, and they blast the windows out with their guns, and then rain bullets down on the creatures. They race for the sides of the house, although they think they have hit perhaps one or two.

Meanwhile, when the sound of gunfire stops ringing in their ears, they hear howls and heavy footfalls coming up the stairs.

Vulcan and Renco try to barricade the door. Dante tries to pull the table over to barricade the door but it is too heavy. The creatures smash at the door, while Dante fires over the heads of Vulcan and Renco to try to hit the creatures.

They are quickly overcome - Vulcan falls back while two of the creatures push through the door and swarm on him. Vulcan lays down a wave of bolter fire, but is overcome and badly hurt. The others, with great difficulty, manage to kill all six of the creatures with the help of their porcelain armour, but they hear more creatures coming, and Vulcan is badly hurt, and they are unsure if they can survive much longer.

Heavily adrenalised, they pus the long table out the window to form a ramp, and slide out to safety. But four or five more of the creatures emerge from the long grasses. Dante decides his own safety is paramount - he throws down his gun, swiftly strips off his expensive but inhibiting armour, and sprints for it. Renco runs for it, but keeps his gun and armour - the creatures rapidly gain on him but he just manages to reach his porcelain walker in time. Vulcan in the meantime has finally remembered that he has acquired some rocket boots in the porcelain citadel. He shoots up back to the roof of the Pleasure Palace and runs across the roof to the other side, and then leaps into the departing porcelain walker.

An angry local

The creatures, perhaps 10 -12 in number, gain on them but Dante and Renco desperately throw out two sacks of supplies - plus the infamous sack of cat coffee behind them. The creatures fall on the spilled supplies and devour them, so our heroes are able to escape...