The Ultraviolet Grasslands Episode 3: Neanderthal, You're a Desperado

After traveling a while, the caravan gets to know each other a little better. Adolf is irritated by Sissy's way of chewing with his mouth open. Sissy is annoyed by Dante flaunting his elven heritage. Dante is irritated by Adolf's complete lack of self-reflection.

The Ultraviolet Grasslands

On the bright side, though, Adolf admires Dante's very brief toilet breaks, Dante admires sissy's dedication to only killing people who deserve it (he doesn't know about the orphan), and sissy admires Adolf's generosity when buying drinks.

Flush with loot but short on supplies they debate where to go to sell their goods - and decide to return to the Last Chair Salon. They trek a week back to nearly where they came from. At the Salon, they have their horses fed and watered, and try to find a merchant to buy their salvaged goods. They find Frangibar, a local merchant, who can't pay them in cash - but offers to trade them their 9 sacks of salvaged bullion from the well, in return for 1 1/2 sacks of cat coffee. 

For the sake of convenience, they accept. They decide that they can return to the Violet city and sell the cat coffee, upgrade their gear, and then return to the wastes. They set off, and arrive within a day back at the luxuriant shady gates of the Violet City. The guards mildly interrogate them, but their eyes widen when they see the sacks of cat coffee. The guard says this is stolen coffee - he can tell from the branding on the sacks. Sissy tries to argue with them, and finally they reach a compromise - the guards accepts half a sack as a bribe - and the caravan is allowed to keep one sack.

Fuming, they enter the city and set up camp back in Renko's old  slum house, and try to find a buyer for the coffee. But the market is glutted - there are no buyers for the coffee anywhere in the city. They are rapidly running out of ready cash - so Sissy puts word out on the street to try to find more work as an assassin. He hears of a contract to kill Whiskers, a local Cat Lord, but he turns down the contract - it seems very risky. 

The Last Chair Salon

With the last of their cash, they buy some travel supplies - the cheapest nastiest kind - water in flasks, dried dwarven bread, etc. They find out that the cat coffee was stolen from a Cat Lord called Fluffy, and they decide to see if they can shop Frangibar the Merchant. They visit Fluffy's villa, with a small pouch of coffee, and tell her that they know who stole her coffee - but when they explain who, Fluffy is less than impressed - as Fluffy knows Frangibar is simply a middle man and probably an ignorant buyer. He offers them a desultory $20 reward for this information and shows them the door. 

Frustrated and angry, they leave the violet City once more and head to the Last chair Salon, determined to get a refund from Frangibar. They arrive late in the day, and tie their horses up outside Frangibar's store, intent on mayhem. Frangibar greets them warmly but quickly reads their faces, and calls his bodyguard Avros into the room. The demand a refund from Frangibar, who refuses, saying he had no idea the coffee was stolen. Avros draws his gun and cocks it menacingly. In response Adolf quick draws his bolter and blows off Frangibar's head. Avros tries to loose some shots off before fleeing but he is quickly cut down by a barrage of bolter fire. 

Quickly they raid the till - only $50 - and Adolf and Renko push into the back room where they find a large safe - sealed shut. Adolf puts his ear to the safe, and using his knowledge of mechanisms, manages to swiftly crack it. The inside is full of  ancient goods, contraband, and miscellaneous trade goods and salvage. They quickly fill their packs and sacks and leap on their horses and flee the settlement. They're now neanderthal desperadoes.

They push hard westward, using their fast horses to outpace any potential pursuers, taking the high road and the low. After a week or so they meet a group of Lime Nomads, hunters with shiny bright black birds in large nets, travelling the other way. for a moment they worry about having stolen Lime Nomad goods before they remember they already sold those to the late Frangibar. The leader of the Lime Nomads, Viok Perttunen, offers them a deal - he has a rogue Porcelain Slave Body to trade. He explains that the Porcelain Princes are multibody consciousnesses, virtually immortal, and that this is a spare body, that they 'acquired' on the trail. Suspicious and a little cautious, but also very short on ready cash, they decline the deal, but offer Viok Perttunen a stone of coffee as a parting gift. They part on good terms. 

As they reach the High and Low road, and the small watering area there, they realise there is nowhere there that they can buy further supplies. They fill up on water, and they find a high place and check behind them - and they see that there is a large posse of 10 riders behind them - about a days ride behind. Obviously the populace of the Last Chair Salon has assembled an avenging posse to hunt them down.

Sissy digs out his jellyfish and places it in the oasis to try to poison the water supply - but alas, the creature, stressed from the swift travel, is unable to gland enough poison. They have little choice but to hurry westwards, to try to reach the Porcelain Citadel ahead of the posse.

Unfortunately, in their haste, and unfamiliarity with the terrain, they mistake a dry riverbed for the trail, and find themselves very, very lost. They are low on supplies and in deadly danger of starving to death in the wastes. They try to circle out of the gullies to a high point but from there all they can see are endless badlands in the purple haze. 

After many days of searching, with their supplies running ow, they see and here an incredible sight - an entire nomad village, on a large wheeled platform, grinding across the badlands. They watch for a while and then hail the village and ride up to the enormous vehicle. A strange man in Limelander garb hails them - he introduces himself as Beauregarthe, a traveller and leader of this Limelander tribe, and captain of this land vessel. He invites them on board to eat and drink - they eat well and enjoy the village entertainments and fine alcoholic beverages, and then in the morning they get down to business - trying to sell Beauregarthe a sack of their stolen salvage from Frangibar. Beauregarthe is interested- but he has his braves pull their guns and force a sale at 50% of the normal price. The caravan are not too put out by this - they needed the cash anyway, but are annoyed by being put off the village vehicle at gunpoint. 

A Violetlander Posse

Still short on supplies they head off again, looking again for the trail. Finally, with the help of Adolf's vomish bird, they see the trail far off to the south. They head off, and head through various twisted and deep gulleys. 

As they are nearly back on the trail, Adolf has a bad feeling - a rock falls ahead. He sends his bird ahead to see - and sees that the posse has found them, and set up an ambush - five on each side of the gulley, up above, under cover and ready to mow them all down. Using the vome bird as reconnaisance, they carefully back up the gulley, and make their way up a ridge, so they can take out 5 of the posse before the others can catch up.  They check their weapons and then with a whoop and a rush they charge along the ridge top toward the ambushers.

The five ambushers see them and quickly turn around, laying down heavy fire at the charging neanderthals, while the five other ambushers, on the next ridge, realise what is happening and decide to ride down the gulley and help their companions. 

Adolf is filled with blood rage and is hit twice but manages to take out one of the attackers. Sissy and Vulcan ride left, taking the majority of the horses with them into the next gulley, safe from gunfire and with a theoretical clear path to escape. 

Dante takes a bullet to the head and falls to the ground. His spirit leaves his body momentarily but then - he is filled with a war spirit of bloodlust. He rises from the dead, and falls on the posse, slaughtering them all, before charging down the gulley and destroying three of the other posse, with help from Adolf, who is struck by a stray round and rises, alive but in shock, muttering "I'm too old for this shit!"

Two of their pursuers manage to flee and escape. Dante shakes his head and the blood lust clears and he surveys the carnage, but has no memory of it.

Adolf tries to find the fleeing posse members from the sky using the vomish bird, but he can't find them. They gather up the horses of the posse, and their guns and supplies, which amounts to quite a haul, and head back to the trail...